I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
