I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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