just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
as a side note pls kill me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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