i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
