Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
