Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
im on a boat
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