This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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