forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
