Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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