I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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