is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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