she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
