I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
