she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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