He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
