LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
