He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
