When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
