Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
