I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
