nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
