fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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