hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
