dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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