you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
