"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
