so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
