I just pynch a tree in the face
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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