Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
