I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
