I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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