If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
