I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
