If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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