i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
