Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
