How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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