just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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