You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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