I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
