Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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