Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
