I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
