He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
