i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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