i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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