Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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