You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
