a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
