ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
